It's been a while now since I last wrote. A lot has changed since then. I am now 31 weeks pregnant with my daughter! She is perfect. I feel her move, dance, and even hiccup inside me all the time. I love every kick and jab, even if it is in the ribs when I'm trying to sleep. She is truly amazing and I can't believe I am finally getting my rainbow baby after all we went through to get her. It wasn't easy. After my fourth loss in January 2013, I was about to throw in the towel. I just couldn't keep going through loss after loss, never knowing when or if I'd ever get my baby. I spoke to a specialist shortly after my fourth miscarriage. He went over all the tests I had done in the last few months and decided that next pregnancy, I needed to be on Lovenox injections. They are a blood thinning shot I would have to give myself in the stomach everyday for 9 months to protect my future baby from possible blood clots that might have formed and cut off their blood supply from me. Also, I tested positive for elevated natural killer cells. The things that protect you against illnesses, if too high, can also attack a pregnancy. So I would also have to get at least two IV infusions of a fat emulsion to suppress them while pregnant. A few weeks after talking to him and starting to make a plan to go onto fertility treatments, I found out I was already pregnant. I was immediately put on Lovenox and scheduled for my first IV infusion. I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks 4 days. Before my appointment, I was terrified. I was so scared that my fifth little baby would be lost like the four before him or her. But when I saw that little bean with a beating heartbeat, and then actually HEARD it...tears of joy started falling. Everything looked perfect. I went back two weeks later and saw my baby had grown so much already. After the second ultrasound looked great, I was released from the specialist to my regular OB. At 19 weeks, we found out our baby was a girl! We were both so excited (and still are!) about having a daughter. I can't imagine loving her any more than I already do, but my love grows for her everyday and I know that when I hold her in my arms and see her face to face, my heart will burst with love. October 28th, can hurry up and get here! God has truly blessed us and my sweet baby girl will always know how much she is wanted and loved. Having babies doesn't come easily to all of us, and I will always remember the pain of the struggle to get here, but I think it has made me even more grateful for my daughter.
"I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him." 1 Samuel 1:27
