First Post.

Original title for this post, I know. Anyways, I started this blog mainly because I need a place to just write (or type) out my feelings. I don't always say what is on my mind, and lately there is a lot. This journey has not been easy. We've been trying to start a family for a while and have lost multiple angels along the way. Which is another reason I started this blog. I am taking a break from facebook for a while because it hurts to see all the announcements, pictures, ultrasounds, etc. Not that I don't want to be happy for those people, but to see it every time I check to see what my friends are up to is hard. Especially when my heart is so broken. I just need to take a step back for now, for my own peace of mind. So for any family or friends that want to keep up with me, this is for you too.

I named this blog from a song. I'm sure it was written about a relationship, but I always think of Wes and I telling each other this about not giving up on our dream. And as much as I feel like it at times, I won't give up. I especially feel the part about learning " how to bend without the world caving in". I have felt like my world has come crashing down many times in this past year and somehow I manage to pick myself back up. And to be going through all this has aged me beyond my almost 24 physical years. I feel my soul is indeed, much older. And God must really think I am tough enough for all the pain I have endured. Like I said, this song really speaks to me.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No: I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up