Stronger

A year ago I found out that my first sweet baby was gone. It's almost been a year to the day of my D&C. Wes and I took that Sunday to go take roses to the park. Since we didn't have a place of our own to visit, we decided that was a good spot. We placed the roses one by one into the water where they floated gently. I still miss my Bean Bunny and think of her every day, as I do my other angel babies. 14 months ago I would not have guessed that would have happened to me. A year ago, I would not have believed I would go through even more losses. This is definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to face. I was angry for a long time. I could not understand why this had to happen to me time and time again. Why did God leave me to suffer through all this pain? My heart kept breaking over and over. I was on the edge of giving up. I was so tired of going through the sorrow while everyone around me seemed to be getting their happily ever afters. It is still hard for me to see others attain so easily what I longed for so badly. But I am much stronger than I ever imagined. I still do not know God's ways but I do know that they are much higher ways than my own.
This song came on the radio a lot when I was really struggling.

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
 Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger